how to change a company culture that has been treating parents and non-parents differently

A reader writes:

I recently accepted a new job where I will be managing a newly created team. I have been a manager before, but this new job will be a new challenge. The team I am managing has been tasked with leading a culture change in the company.

The company has had many employees leave. In some cases, they left without another job lined up or took a job somewhere else with less pay or a lower title. Most gave little or no notice and left on poor terms. It’s been a problem for a long time, but things have been getting worse recently. Some former employees did agree to exit interviews but all of the ones who left over the problems had the same complaints:

* Parents receiving preference when it comes to time off requests over people who aren’t parents, and in some cases people without children having their time off requests denied or rescinded to accommodate their colleagues who have children
* Parents being allowed more time off, shorter hours some days, or being allowed to leave early some on Fridays while people who don’t have children are not
* Parents being given preference in work assignments, being allowed to do less work, or being held to lower metrics and standards than people without children
* Parents being allowed to leave early or to work from home some days to accommodate appointments and other child-related activities, even though almost all job duties can only be done on site, while people without children are not allowed to leave early for any reason, or to work from home at all and are made to pick up the slack for parents who are not in the office
* Discrepancies in things like the amount of time off, or other perks and in at least one alleged case pay between those who are parents and those who are not

After I accepted the offer I was told that in addition to retention issues and resignations there are legal issues, since where we are it is illegal to discriminate based on family status (including whether someone does or does not have children) and apparently the company has gotten into hot water over this.

Upper management and the board of directors have recognized this as a widespread problem which can’t be ignored any longer. My understanding is that there have been some changes at the top that allowed this to happen. The company is large and has hundreds of employees, so change is not as easy as sending a memo and the people at the top want improvement and permanency.

I’m a parent so I appreciate a company trying to make things easier for parents. (I am fortunate that my husband is self-employed and can dictate his own schedule, so he is able to take care of anything that comes up with our child while I am at work. I recognize not everyone has the luxury of child related issues and emergencies not affecting them at work the way I do.) However, I also do not agree with doing it on the backs of people who don’t have children.

On my team, I am the manager and have three co-leads under me. One is a parent and two are not. (Additionally, two of the co-leads are lawyers.) There will be a diverse group of employees hired for the team. The goal is to create a better culture and create balance between parents and those without children. Do you have any advice on how to change a culture?

The imperative here is less about changing the culture and more about changing policy and practice. This is a case where if you change the policies and practices, the culture should follow in time.

To start, anyone with management responsibilities in the company needs to hear — clearly, firmly, and immediately — that the company’s policies and practices around family status have changed and that going forward parents and non-parents must be treated without distinction from each other. Then spell out what that means:
* Time-off requests need to be considered without regard to family status. Parents don’t get preference over non-parents, and parents’ time off doesn’t bump the time off of non-parents.
* If a manager offers flexible schedules, shorter hours on some days, or the ability to work from home, that can’t be a special perk for parents; it needs to be offered to everyone within the same job category. (Define “same job category” as meaning similar roles or similar performance level — i.e., work factors, not parental status.)
* Assignments must be given without regard to family status.
* Performance must be assessed without regard to family status.
* Salary, perks, and other benefits must be allocated fairly and without regard to family status.

Explain why, of course: the legal liability, first and foremost, but also the unfairness past policies created for non-parents … unfairness that resulted in your company losing good employees and putting you at a competitive disadvantage with other companies in your field, as well as the human cost to non-parents who have families and non-work lives that were being treated as unworthy of concern or support.

Sometimes when benefits are made more equitable, the group that used to get special privilege feels they’re losing something. You should explain that this is about ensuring the company is supporting everyone, whereas before it was only supporting some people.

The company also needs to explain to managers that because this is a change in how things were done previously — and because the past practices were illegal  — there will be more oversight in these areas for a while. For example, you’ll be monitoring how these practices are getting implemented, soliciting feedback from employees, and generally acting to ensure that the commitment the company is making is being carried out.

And then you need a system in place to do that. Depending on the scope of your role and your authority to poke around, that could include anything from meeting with managers to dig into the specifics of how these things are playing out on their teams to interviewing a selection of employees on each team to find out what their recent experience has been.

Importantly, though, this message needs to come from the top. Upper management needs to make it clear that they want the change, and it’s not just something by driven by your newly created team. They should explain that they’re personally empowering your team to be their eyes and ears (and voice) on this, but this is coming from them, they’re personally committed to the change, and they will be holding everyone in the company accountable to it. Otherwise it’s going to be a much, much harder battle. (Also, if that happens not to be true about the commitment from the top, run! You can’t do this kind of job if they’re not fully bought in.)

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