are there red flags I’m missing at my new job?

A reader writes:

I started a new job abroad. It’s a small country, and I’m adjusting well. I lived as an expat for six years prior to this in a less developed country, working in a much smaller, less professional company, and I know how much worse things can be in terms of working conditions, pay, and general living standards. I’ve been treated 1,000% better by this company than I was by the last place I worked, and I try to tell them that, but they don’t listen. They seem convinced that it’s only a matter of weeks before I find out what it’s “really like” here and quit. To be fair, my first day was admittedly shaky. My boss, Jake, wasn’t there to provide any guidance and I essentially had to fill in for him with no training. Once he got here, things improved a lot.

And yet I keep hearing “everyone hates it here” and “the last person in your position left after three months, we thought you’d be gone by now” and “Jake is only nice to you because he doesn’t want you to leave like the last person did.” Apparently the last person in my role “brought her dog for emotional support,” and I’m not sure why. It’s like they don’t understand that I’m a different person and, if I have to hear about that damn dog one more time … Another former colleague who worked at this company warned me the company was going to wait until I started and then pull a bait and switch on me. So far they haven’t. One of my colleagues (another long-time employee) quit within the first week, which has made our department understaffed and resulted in me doing less of the job I was hired for. This was unfortunate, but not the company’s fault.

Jake has been nice to me. He’s a stickler in some ways, but I’ve found him generally easy to get along with. One colleague told me he pulled her aside and berated her for 20 minutes about a misplaced comma. This is not behavior I’ve personally observed, and I’ve been in numerous meetings with him at this point. Around me, he’s been extremely even keeled.

The company does not have high turnover, and I think the last person in my job was just a bad fit. The people who complain the most are those who have been here for 20 years, and when I point that out, they respond, “Well, we have nowhere else to go so they can treat us however they want.” That’s true in a way, since they’re locals and this company is the only game in town in this industry.

I find myself wondering if my standards are wildly askew and whether I should be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Is this a me problem or a them problem?

You can read my answer to this letter at New York Magazine today — along with a second question from someone asking whether they should job search in this economy. Head over there to read them both.

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