my employee talks in song, coworker keeps reserving the desk I like, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My coworker wants to know why my boss is scheduling a meeting … and it’s to address his mistakes

My coworker, Karl, is higher ranking than I am. He is actually one of the top executives, but he has been making a LOT of mistakes. The CEO, George, is aware of this and will periodically ask me for updates. Yesterday George was asking me questions about our credit card procedures. I mentioned that Karl was coding the monthly charges before he gave me the statements to pull receipts and invoices, so he could not possibly know if a particular charge was supposed to be for a certain event or charged to a certain account. We have several companies under our umbrella, so we have to write on a receipt or invoice which company gets the charge.

I also mentioned that I still have receipts and invoices from last summer that I have not seen any statements to match them to. George asked me to make a folder for him with copies of all the receipts I was talking about, which I did. He then sent a meeting request to me, Karl, and our VP of operations, but did not give any indication what the meeting is for, though I know what it’s for because he had told me he was going to schedule a meeting to ask Karl what he is doing.

Now Karl is bugging me via emails asking if I know what the meeting is about. (He works from home three days a week and would try to work from home permanently if allowed. His working from home has become an issue because he is needed at the office more than he thinks for various reasons.)

I feel that I owe him nothing as far as a heads-up as to what this meeting is about. He is taking shortcuts and this credit card issue is not the only one. His shortcuts end up making me and everyone else have to spend more time cleaning up his mistakes. So, how should I handle this? I know that he will blow up at me when he discovers I made up the folder of “evidence” for George. I also know from experience that he will throw me under the bus in a heartbeat to save his own rear. For all I know, he is being monitored by George and if I give him a heads-up, I could be shooting myself in the foot professionally.

You’re not obligated to give Karl a heads-up. If George wanted him to know what the meeting was about, he’d presumably tell him — or Karl could ask George himself. There’s a reason he’s asking you instead, but you’re not obligated to cater to that.

As for what you should do, you could simply ignore Karl’s email if the meeting is coming up pretty quickly, or you could be vague (“something about our procedures, I think”) or you could say, “I know as much as you do.” Alternately, you could tell George that Karl is pressuring you for info and ask how he wants you to handle it.

By the way, if you haven’t already, you should let George know that you expect Karl to blow up at you when he realizes you shared info with him, and ask him to do what he can to insulate you from that.

2. Coworker keeps reserving the desk I like but then doesn’t come in

I work in an office that hot-desks, which I think is a good approach for my specific workplace, as everyone only needs to be in the office two days a week.

There is one desk that I really like. It’s in the corner, where it’s especially quiet, and the lights are a bit dimmer/less bright, and I’m able to concentrate really well there. It also has a lovely window view. As might be expected, someone else also likes this desk. That, in itself, is fine! We’re able to book our desks a month in advance, and this desk is always booked out by the same person for the entire time slot available – every. single. day. – even though she only comes in a few days a week. On the other days, the desk is empty but it shows as booked by her in the booking system. It makes me absolutely wild because I’d like to book the desk myself but I’m literally never able to! And I’m hesitant about sitting at the desk when it’s booked under her name but she’s not here because sometimes she comes in late and I don’t want to have that confrontation; also, we’ve been told not to sit at desks reserved for other people. Is there any way to address this?

A few options: (1) Talk to her! “Hey, I noticed you’ve been booking the same desk every day, even on days you’re not coming in. I’d like to be able to sit there myself if you’re not coming in — would you mind leaving it unreserved on days when you won’t be in?” (2) Talk to whoever manages the booking system, explain what’s going on, and ask if you can just use that desk when it’s empty even if it was booked despite the “don’t sit at reserved desks” policy or, better, if they can ask her to knock it off. (3) Just sit there when it’s empty and if she comes in late and tries to claim it, say, “Sorry, I see it’s booked a lot but then doesn’t get used, so I thought today was one of the days it was free” and then move. That doesn’t have to a confrontation; it’s a logical result of her actions, and it’s not rude to just explain your thinking.

3. My employee talks in song

I’m having an issue with an employee that I’m not sure how to coach them on. This employee has a habit of talking in song … a lot. For example, they’ll hang up a phone call with a customer and sing, “This guy doesn’t know he wants and it’s really annooooyyyyyying!” (It’s more than talking in a sing-song voice a la Oprah; they are fully singing the statement to a made-up tune.) The impromptu song commentary is tiresome. We work in a small, open office so I hear this all day long. (They don’t do this when customers are present; I’m the only one being bothered.)

I’m already having to give this employee a lot of feedback about the quality of their work, and I don’t want to pile on with critiques, but … it’s really grating on me. How do I bring this up without being overly critical of a (mostly) harmless personal habit?

Yeah, it’s not ideal to raise something like this when you’re also giving a lot of critical feedback about the person’s work — it can come across as just picking apart everything they’re doing. Which is not to say this isn’t a legitimate thing to ask them to stop doing; it is! It’s just not great to combine it with a bunch of more substantive criticism. I suppose you could tackle the work feedback first and then say, “There’s one more thing, and it’s much more minor — but you have a habit of singing commentary about your work, and it can be distracting in a small open space like ours.” But ugh, I’d really rather not do it in that context; there’s just too much chance it will feel like, “And now let’s critique your personality too!” and he’s going to feel demoralized (and there’s a risk that “stop singing” in this context will sound like “stop showing any signs of joy”).

Assuming you don’t have a time machine that would allow you to go back in time and address the singing a month ago, I’d honestly just live with it a while so you can address it later, when it’s not bundled up with a higher-stakes feedback conversation.

4. Our laid-off coworkers are organizing a get-together — should the rest of us attend?

I’m a fed and recently 100+ people in my group were fired by the administration. A small group of less than 20 were not fired, including the team I lead. We are uncertain of what will happen to us in the future but for now are being shifted into other parts of our agency. While things are still very tumultuous for those of us who are left, we feel lucky to still have positions while many of my former colleagues are struggling to find work due to our specialized skills and flooded job market.

My former colleagues are organizing a get-together in a few weeks to celebrate the work that we did and as an opportunity for us to get together for the last time.

My still employed team members were asking me whether it was appropriate to attend and I’m struggling to determine what to tell them. On the one hand, I would love for us to reconnect with my former colleagues and celebrate our achievements. However, I’m also concerned that going will make it difficult for them when my still employed colleagues and I cannot commiserate in their experience. How would you approach this?

If they’ve invited you, I would assume they want you to attend! Moreover, if none of you attend, I’d worry they’d think you no longer feel any connection to them now that they’re gone.

If you’re unsure — or if there wasn’t a clear invitation — just ask one of the people organizing it. For example: “A lot of us still here would love to attend and see everyone! But we don’t want to step on anyone’s toes if it’s more for the people who were laid off so I wanted to check with you.”

5. My boss makes our “vacation days” our weekend for that week

I’ve heard coworkers complain about this but didn’t really understand until I was scheduled this way. My manager has a thing where when you request a vacation day, no matter how far in advance, she will generally approve it but you won’t find out until two weeks before it, sometimes even a week before it, that she’s made that vacation day into one of your regular two days off that week.

No big deal, right? Except I’m trying to have actual vacation and work less hours. I need a break and if I’m scheduled this way every vacation day, I’ve had only half of my actual vacation days, just gotten paid for a regular “weekend” I was already promised. Is this okay?

Wait, do you mean that your accrued vacation time gets docked, but you’re not getting any more days off beyond your typical two-day weekend that week — she’s just moving the days where the “weekend” falls to a different spot? If so, no, that’s definitely not okay. You shouldn’t have vacation days deducted that are just your normal weekend, and you and your coworkers absolutely need to point that out, including escalating it above your manager if necessary.

Beyond that, when you’re submitting for these days in the future, be very explicit about what you are requesting: “I need to use two vacation days on May 20 and May 21 on top of my normal two-day weekend.”

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