how do I stop caring about my job?

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

I am a mother of three young children. Several years ago I took a step back in my career to work in a less high-pressure environment. The shift was incredible for my work life balance — I am much more present with my children, rarely bring home work stress, and am able to regularly take time away to volunteer at school events. We are financially secure and the money is decent.

However, this organization frequently is a mess. I regularly find myself flabbergasted at how things that wouldn’t be an issue at other jobs become Big Things at this organization, requiring multiple meetings at various senior levels to remediate. Good news and progress is met with administrative drama, and frequently thwarted altogether by red tape and incompetence. It was kind of a fun challenge at first, but now it is absolutely maddening. At the same time, no one really cares, so there is no pressure, and I am very free to live my personal life

How do I … stop caring? In my time here, I’ve changed what I can at this organization and am now trying to accept what I can’t, but I’m just. so. tired. of feeling like there is no point to any of it.

Any words of advice from folks that have been there? Is it time to run before my discontent at work seeps into my personal bliss? Or is there a way to put up a mental wall? I’ve got about another five years before my youngest doesn’t need me as much. Help!

Sometimes it can help to get really, really clear in your own head about exactly what you’re getting from the job, and exactly what you are trading in exchange for income.

In this case, that might mean getting really clear on the fact that you are trading your time for money, period. You are not there to fix the organization, or to care more about the problems than people above you do. You are there to do Job X and nothing more.

Sometimes that’s impossible. Maybe you find the way they operate so maddening that you simply can’t be there five days a week without it destroying your morale or your mental health. If that’s the case, then it’s time to move on.

But sometimes, with a concerted effort you can decide that it’s Not Your Problem. If they want to run their organization this way, so be it — you figure it’s their prerogative and you’ll continue doing Job X (and only Job X) and they will continue putting money in your bank account every two weeks, and the trade will be complete.

Alternately, sometimes you can look at it as an educational experience: think of yourself as a sociologist who’s learning interesting lessons about certain types of group dynamics. You don’t need to care that much because you’re just there to observe, not engage in any deep way. (The trick there is to not let it make you so cynical that you bring bad habits to the next job.)

Or maybe every time something maddening happens, you can remind yourself, “Not caring about this is why I have great work-life balance, and right now in this period of my life that’s the most important thing to me.”

But maybe none of the advice above will work for you. For some people, it’s incredibly important to work for an organization that they feel good about. Without that, some people will lose all sense of connection to their work, and any interest in continuing on with it. If that’s you, that’s useful to know about yourself; it would mean you need to start working on getting out of there.

But try getting really clear on what you are being paid for — which is not to solve this organization’s big problems — and see if that can be enough.