getting out of note-taking at meetings, HR is concerned about a Halloween photo, and more
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My company is undoing all our DEI work My (private) company is (seemingly) bending over backwards to undo DEI initiatives. Affinity groups’ budgets have been cut (I recognize that I’m in a privileged position for our groups to even have budgets), recruiting is unable to […] The post getting out of note-taking at meetings, HR is concerned about a Halloween photo, and more appeared first on Ask a Manager.

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My company is undoing all our DEI work
My (private) company is (seemingly) bending over backwards to undo DEI initiatives. Affinity groups’ budgets have been cut (I recognize that I’m in a privileged position for our groups to even have budgets), recruiting is unable to spend money to attend events that might have a higher percentage of under-represented people, and in general there’s just a huge level of scrutiny about anything that sounds like DEI. Again, this is a private company! Is this just normal for the next few (I hope) years, or are there orgs out there that are NOT doing this?
There are a lot of orgs out there that aren’t doing this. Some are changing the language they use to avoid trigger words for the current administration, but not cutting the programs themselves. Others aren’t changing anything. Your employer is either cowardly or showing their true colors, or both. They’re far from the only company operating that way, but there are lots of other employers maintaining a commitment to DEI.
Related:
should I remove DEI work from my resume?
2. Can my friend get out of taking notes at meetings?
My friend works for a mid-sized IT department mainly supporting end user needs (think desktop support, sometimes under someone’s desk and sometimes fixing software issues remotely). Her management conducts almost all team/department meetings remotely but won’t allow the meetings to be recorded; however, the managers expect team members to rotate who will manually take notes in each meeting. My friend has a few reasons why she is very uncomfortable and anxious about being selected to be the note-taker, like typing that quickly, spelling, and grammar.
My opinion is that note-taking for technical meetings would be a specific skill. I’ve asked my friend to provide to me a copy of her job description with essential job functions to see if there is any reference to being required to type at a specific speed or with accuracy. Her setting up for a “not in my job description” argument seems like a worse outcome than letting everyone see she is not a good note-taker, but her anxiety about it is real. I have already advised her that feigning a finger injury isn’t sustainable and might even lead to other problems, such as being questioned about needing an accommodation, etc. Do you have any guidance for how she can get out of the note-taking?
If it’s rotated among everyone on the team, I don’t know that she can — particularly if her main reasons are spelling and grammar, since she could easily run the notes through a spell-checker/grammar-checker before sending them out. It’s true that note-taking is a specific skill, but it’s also a task that gets regularly shared in the way her team is doing.
She definitely shouldn’t argue that it’s not in her job description; people are generally expected to some things that aren’t written down in their descriptions. You can argue from that angle if you’re, say, an accountant being asked to do welding; it’s not an argument you can use when it comes to shared team logistics, and it’s likely to reflect badly on her. She’d be better off working on getting more comfortable taking notes.
If she were the only one being asked to do it, I’d answer very differently, but it’s not unreasonable for a team to make this a rotating task.
3. HR is concerned about a provocative online photo of my employee
I work as a manager for a hotel and want to promote a young lady who has worked super hard at the front desk. Her guest satisfaction scores are absolutely wonderful, and she is by far my top performer. Recently a job opening came up and when HR did a Google search of her name, it turns out that one year on Halloween she won “sexiest costume” at a bar. There are two pictures of her in a revealing costume that popped up alongside her name. I’m not a big believer in getting into employees’ personal lives because working at a hotel is not a sensitive profession, and honestly I have no problem with the pictures. I only care about anything that would affect her work and this doesn’t at all. I thought it was 2025 and by now everyone has seen a sexy Halloween photo or a bikini picture, and I just find it ridiculous that HR would even bring this up! I’m allowed to promote her anyway. Should I just promote her or am I missing something here?
You should promote her, and you’re not missing anything. Her Halloween costume has zero bearing on her ability to do her job or her behavior at work.
Your HR needs to get in the sea.
4. I regret going back to my old job
My sector has been experiencing massive layoffs. The lead-up to these layoffs was unexpectedly brutal in my department, which was hit especially hard. When my manager from a previous job (Job B) heard about these layoffs, he reached out to me and offered me my old position back. I wanted out, so I took it and moved back to that city.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have. The work is boring, the position’s a downgrade, the pay is bad, and I find myself often irritated by my coworkers. I suspect I’m mostly mad that Job B isn’t what Job A was before layoffs ruined it. I thought I could spend my entire career in Job A. I’m sad all the time. I regret that I didn’t try to stick it out at Job A, take a chance in the job market, or accept a grad school offer abroad that would’ve used up all of my savings. I played it safe when I maybe shouldn’t have. I’m seeing suitable, better-paying options pop up, and I want to apply.
But I’m only two months into Job B. My manager pulled a lot of strings to hold it for me and is VERY excited to have me back. He considers me a friend and takes slights very personally. I don’t know how I could leave without destroying my reference from him and my reputation within the company. Part of me thinks I’m being too emotional, and that I should stick it out for at least a year, maybe take this time to explore grad school possibilities again. Another part of me just wants out no matter what, and I’m not above giving whatever reason to leave if it pacifies my manager. Late at night, I almost wish I could have a complete mental breakdown instead of this sort of-functional depressive state just so I’d have a valid reason to quit.
I’m very in my own head right now and would appreciate a third-party take. Thoughts on how I should navigate making this decision, factors I should consider? If I do apply for other jobs and leave, what sort of wording or reasoning could I use with Job B?
Simply looking around at options doesn’t obligate you to take a new job if it’s offered. And who knows how long a job search might take. Since you’re unhappy at this job, it makes sense to start a search and see how it goes.
If you get an offer, you can compare it to your current situation and decide if it’s worth potentially burning a bridge with your manager or not. Given the state of the job market, it’s possible that enough time will have gone by that you won’t even be leaving “right after” your boss brought you back. Either way, you can frame it as, “I really appreciate you going to bat to bring me back. You’ve been a wonderful mentor and I really value our relationship. This other opportunity fell in my lap and I don’t feel I can turn it down, but I want you to know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
Will that pacify him? Maybe, maybe not. But it’s a thing that happens, and you’re allowed to put your own needs first. (Moreover, if you’re miserable there, it’s actually not good for him if you stick it out anyway since it’s likely to affect your work over time.)
5. Employer is requesting performance evaluations that I can’t access
I’m currently a finalist for a position that I’m very excited about. The hiring manager initially requested my current supervisor as a reference. Because our team is small and my supervisor isn’t aware that I’m job searching, I explained that I’d prefer not to share that information prematurely, as it could potentially put my current role at risk.
The hiring manager responded positively but is now asking for my most recent performance evaluations instead. Here’s the complication: my employer recently switched to a new performance evaluation system, and I no longer have direct access to my prior evaluations. The only document I currently have is a record of my performance goals.
I can requested my full personnel file from HR, but it might take some time. In the meantime, how should I communicate this situation clearly to the hiring manager, and is there any alternative documentation I could provide?
All you can really do is be straightforward about it: “Normally I’d be happy to provide them, but we just switched to a new system and I don’t have access to previous ones. I’ve requested my file from HR but I don’t know how long that might take. What would work instead?” Ideally you’d offer additional references if possible, and it would be especially ideal if some of your them were from your current job (not your current boss, obviously, but someone like a senior colleague who’s worked closely with you or no longer works there and who you trust to be discreet).
For what it’s worth, though, unless you’ve been at this job your whole career and you don’t have any other references from the past 10 years, it’s not reasonable for them to be so hung up on this. Most companies hire without talking to current managers or seeing performance reviews.
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