update: my boss hasn’t talked to me since his drunken striptease

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss hadn’t talked to her since his drunken striptease? Here’s the update.

The commentator who stated, “In vino veritas,” hit the mark.

Days after my question appeared online, I sat, scrolling through comments, crying into my wine. I intended to phone a friend. Instead, I drunk dialed my boss — on his work phone.

Will answered. Immediately recognizing that I was drunk, he said, “Hang on. I’ll call you right back on my personal phone.”

In the call that followed, he confessed to having a crush on me since his very first day as my supervisor. And he admitted that he wanted to join him for a sexual liaison in the loft. I admitted that as much as I liked him, I didn’t like being perused by someone who was married.

You read right — married. In my initial letter, I lied to protect him. The first lie was saying he was divorced. The second lie was claiming the tip happened in August. Really, it occurred in September.

Rather than agree to keeping everything professional and above board from then on, Will insisted that he and his wife had separated. Then he convinced me to engage in phone sex. After that he pursued me relentlessly. And I’ll admit, I liked the attention.

After swearing his divorce was final, Will planned a work-trip rendezvous for us in April 2024. Once he got what he wanted, he no longer had any use for me and did exactly what you said he’d do — lay the groundwork to fire me.

Will got a new supervisor in June 2024. She took an immediate dislike to me, often requiring me to work during approved leave, work 7 days per week, shorting my pay, etc. This culminated in me being required to work 27 consecutive days in January. At first, I thought he was going along with it because he was afraid that if I spoke up, he’d lose his job. That’d simply make him a coward, rather than malicious. Later, I learned I was wrong.

Other supervisors began talking. Before me, there was an employee who got involved with Will and ended up being transferred. I watched as Will started grooming another employee after he lost interest in me. Aside from the three of us, Will admitted to having an affair with another woman. And wouldn’t you know it — he and his wife are still together. Yeah, cheaters gonna cheat.

The constant stress resulted in a mental breakdown. I reported the hostile work environment to HR and the EEOC, then spent 3 months on FMLA. That ended up protecting my job long enough for the government to start offering voluntary separation incentive programs. I left my job with $25,000 in cash.

I am still emotionally broken and working through the betrayal trauma I suffered at Will’s hands. I have no idea what the future will hold. My EEOC complaint was accepted and is moving forward, so I hope there will be justice in the end.

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