update: my drunk coworkers are gossiping about me not drinking

It’s a special “where are you now?” season at Ask a Manager and I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose drunk coworkers were gossiping about her not drinking? Here’s the update.

Ultimately, nothing really happened, at least that I was aware of – and that was what I asked for. So for me, it was a positive outcome, even if it wasn’t a dramatic one.

First, to clarify, I was worried about how my boss would react to gossip, to hearing my news from someone else first. With how my coworkers were acting, I didn’t know what they would do or say, and it freaked me out! I spoke with that partner I trusted and they were really helpful in deciding how to navigate all the personalities in our office. They were also appropriately aghast at the whole story. In the end, they offered, among other options, to let our office manager know about it all if and when I gave the OK. I took them up on that offer. I was so anxious (and frankly, hormonal!) about the whole thing, I just wanted it off my mind.

We got test results back about a week later and hit that 12-week mark, with everything looking great for baby. So I let my boss know, and he was very positive and has been for the remainder of my pregnancy! Everyone in the office with children told me that they never felt like they couldn’t put their kids first, and the boss was always supportive of that. So I feel good on that front!

Sara and Rose both apologized…after seeing me in that trusted partner’s office. I think that in itself made them nervous enough to leave the issue alone. Even so, I used basically your script with them. It felt so satisfying, and it was enough closure to the issue for me – I didn’t need or want to know how the office would handle it after that. I kept more distance from them, which was easy to do – we were not particularly close to begin with and don’t work directly together.

I’m happy to report that I’m currently on parental leave, and welcomed a healthy, adorable (if I do say so myself) baby into the world very recently! My coworkers in general were all lovely and supportive throughout my pregnancy. The people I work with most directly were all wonderful! The coworkers who were in my corner have been hugely helpful in covering my work and making the transition easy for me, and I’m getting to enjoy those sweet newborn snuggles. They might just make up for the sleep deprivation!

Lastly, a credit to your commenters – in general, folks didn’t impose their opinions on how I approached my own health during pregnancy, which was much appreciated. I had done my homework and knew what I personally felt comfortable with. And as for law firms being dysfunctional…? 100%. While there are a lot of “big personalities” in my office, I really like the people I work with directly, I have a lot of flexibility, and I’m generally happy with where I’m at.

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