update: my boss is pressuring me to work more hours … I just came back from stress leave

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager. Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pressuring them to work more hours when they had just back from stress leave? Here’s the update. Good news all around, thank you for the advice — I desperately needed to hear it. It ended up working out — eventually. Brian’s outbursts, yelling, and general unreasonableness got worse after […]

Apr 3, 2025 - 18:11

update: my boss is pressuring me to work more hours … I just came back from stress leave

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer whose boss was pressuring them to work more hours when they had just back from stress leave? Here’s the update.

Good news all around, thank you for the advice — I desperately needed to hear it.
It ended up working out — eventually. Brian’s outbursts, yelling, and general unreasonableness got worse after I wrote in, to the point where he would shout at me and everyone else in front of the team. I’m proud of keeping my cool in those moments, but I was in tears afterwards. It sucked. “Nobody is bigger than the project” became a sort of meme on our site, which was a funny upside. It seemed targeted against me, with him nitpicking my work and trying to embarrass me in front of the team to the point my client and subcontractors were asking why my project manager had it out for me. I also got close with our client, who loathes Brian, so that’s nice!
Because our project was so distressed, our ops manager, Luke, ended up taking more of an active role in managing the job, and thus Brian’s performance. He was onsite more, so I was able to skip Brian and talk to him about what was going on (because he had eyes, he had also seen what was happening). I also did end up going to HR, and they were great — they agreed that Brian was out of step with the org culture, and made sure that I had backing to set boundaries around my work. I also did have a discreet chat with my mentor and he flipped his lid at what was happening, so I think that’s one reason why Luke was looking at Brian’s performance.
I ended up electing for mediation so Brian and I could work out how we could work together (outcome: he would be less of an ass and I would proceed as usual). The damage was done and I was mega burnt out, so I agreed with my ops manager and Brian that once my work was handed over, I would go on long mental health leave from October 2024 to late January 2025, so that I could move back home from this regional hellhole. The leave was amazing, my husband got a job, and the break let me reassess what I actually wanted. Turns out, not my current high hours, high stress job. 38 hours a week sounds like paradise to me right now, and I don’t even have to take a big pay cut to work client side. Thanks to my close relationship with our client, they helped me find a new job. I’m starting there with three days WFH at the end of April with a great team, and I’m really excited!
My company was running out of work and major layoffs are on the cards, so as soon as I came back last week I had a redundancy meeting, I took the package — 12 weeks pay! I’m free! I couldn’t be happier with the outcome, and I’m so glad to see the back of this company without having to resign. As for Brian, the project has ended badly — the client hates us and half of our team, including Brian, is on a permanent internal blacklist for them, so if they’re ever on a project org chart, Questions Will Be Asked. Management has him pottering around the office doing not a lot until something comes up or he gets made redundant too, but his reputation is wrecked after our project.
Thanks again for your advice and the advice of your comment section. It really helped clarify what I needed to do and how much power I actually had in the situation!